All the breaking up reminds me of high school dating: once one relationship goes stale, just go right along to the other before their 15 minutes are up.
Inevitably, it can come as a shock to a partner who wasn't prepared for the startling news.
The first major break-up actually started in February when 2010 U.S. National champions Caydee Denney and Jeremy Barrett decided to call it quits.
It may have been after Caydee sliced Jeremy clean (a freak accident during training that required over 40 stitches) that they decided to break it off. Regardless, this break-up started a trend in the skating world and brought the concept of breaking up to a whole new level.
Since then, around 20 pairs and ice dance teams have decided to call it quits in the off-season, starting a game of musical chairs where switching partners is now as cool as ordering a tall skinny latte at Starbucks.
The most surprising splits still have many questions looming. After their most successful season together, Caitlin Yankowskas and John Coughlin called it quits immediately following the world championships.
Not even the power of the Virgin Mary could keep this partnership from continuing. What is particularly suspicious is the story they are telling the media: Coughlin wanted to retire, team splits up, coach Sappenfield asks Coughlin to do a try-out with partnerless Denney, sparks fly, team forms, everyone's happy (except Yankowskas?).
It's reaking fish over here, because that story certainly doesn't make sense. There is a major piece missing of the puzzle that they are not telling us. Rumors are flying that Denney and Coughlin are now a couple off the ice (She's 18, he's 25). Whether they were a couple before the team formed remains a question mark.
Here is a rather quick summary of this dramatic break-up (for added effect, I will write this as a 14-year-old girl who is texting this message to a friend).
So like John broke up with Caitlin cuz he says he wanted to retire. butttt we all know that is total B.S. cuz then he totally had a try-out with Caydee. So Caydee and John tried out and it was like,' ohhh my gawwwd love at first sight' so now we think they're dating (OMG and WTF??). Caitlin was like totally left in the dust and now is trying to find a partner. She just had a tryout with this model roller blader named Matteo (soooo hawwwwt) but idk if that's gonna work out. Caitlin can probably do wayyyy better in terms of actual skatingggg.
So fyi, John and Caydee skated at Liberty and Indy this past summer and were ahhhhmazing. They like totally rocked it out, but were totally ewww in their interpretation to East of Eden (i mean srsly?). Their love makes me want to throw up in my mouth, but then again if they r going to help the U.S. win medals, then idk...i guess i love them!!!!
Then there's the state of U.S. ice dancing.
To sum it up....
2010 Olympics Evan Bates and Emily Samuelson kicked the can....
Madison Chock and Greg Zeurlien cabareted out the door....
Now Evan and Madison are cha-cha'ing together and Emily is trying to find someone to Bocceli with.
In other news, Madison Hubbell and Zach Donahue are making quite a buzz....video of their freedance to be uploaded shortly.
Because we all know a season cannot be had without at least one muzak free dance to either Andrea Bocelli or Sarah Brightman, let's prepare for the upcoming season with an ode to the summer of goodbyes.
That text-speak summary was GENIUS.
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